A Slowly Deflating Bouncy Castle Behind the Creepy Mansion, Tuesday Morning

[deathsmajesty]

Lili had decided that she really wanted to sleep in the bouncy castle last night. Why? That was a question that even the child she'd been would have been hard-pressed to answer. Which meant that the woman who woke up in the aforementioned bouncy castle (now, significantly less bouncy and also significantly more deflated), had even less of an understanding how and why she'd gotten here. Truly, a philosophical conundrum for later, after she'd managed to solve the immediate mysteries upon waking of why her bed was so much less comfortable than it should be, and then figuring out where she was, and and then also freed herself from the collapsing nightmare of nylon and plastic.

Possibly much, much, much later, considering how hard it would fight to keep her in it.

Fortunately, the conundrum of 'rot my way free' vs 'but this is a rental was still several minutes in her future. (And also not particularly much of a conundrum. Like Liliana would care.)

[Mostly establishy, but open to anybody interested in the most shrug emoji of schedule as I travel home today.]

Comments

[chef_chocobro]

Ignis would greatly appreciate a respect to the rented properties of the bouncy castle, despite never actually having rented the thing himself, technically speaking.

Surely an issue to work out later, especially as, in another sector of the deflating plaything, he was waking up with the immediate spark of disoriented panic of not quite knowing where he was and what was surrounding him. He though, first, of camps where he hadn't realized the light keeping the daemons at bay had gone out. He was seconds away from summoning his katana out of instinct, before his brain reminded him of the incongruience there. No Lucii-summoned weapons in the Long Night. And so...

A different thought, a fresh memory, filled with a sky full of stars and a night of stories...Lili's were much better, she had immeasurably more imagination than he had, and he'd been fine with that, he could just listen, ask questions, and eventually come up with his own suggestions.

He let out a soft sound, part grunt, part laugh, and then part groan as he rubbed at a sore spot on his back, so unused to sleeping in the hard ground these days...

And then he started to feel around, trying to locate a way out or the Liliana he assumed was also somewhere in the plastic cave-in with him.

"'Iana? Are you--Ah."

He clearly needed to just follow the distinct sound of struggle.

"Hold on, darling. I'm on my way."


...eventually, anyway. Once he managed to also get himself out of the tangle he'd wound up in himself.

[deathsmajesty]

"Hope you're fast, or else you're losing the deposit, my darling," Liliana grumbled. Never a particular fan of mornings, she'd discovered she liked them even less in the middle of November, especially when outside in the remains of a bouncy castle that, as she realized now, had been bounced on by an unknown number of children before she'd claimed it as a bed.

"What was my idiotic younger self thinking when she decided this was a good idea?"

About starry nights and stories, which Liliana would be able to consider with due appreciation, after freedom, coffee, and a bath.

[chef_chocobro]

After a moment of struggling to feel around for some sort of suggestion a passage to move toward the sound of her voice, the potential of a deposit still was the only thing keeping the katana unsummoned.

Though he had considered it. It was still much too early in this conundrum to be so hasty, though.

(When would the cost of Liliana's frustration manage to outweigh the price of the return? Hopefully, they wouldn't have to find out).

"That, at the time, it seemed rather spacious and comfortable and likely indestructible, with the abuse if had gone through."

[deathsmajesty]

Well, surely you could trust in Liliana's patience and innate frugality--

Actually, you might want to hurry, Ignis.

"Yes, all the abuse, meaning all the children who've trekked in Gaea only knows what into this wreck that we then slept on."

Yes, Liliana could and frequently did deal with the rot and decomposition of the dead that she made her servants. And yes, she was complaining about dirt and grass and crumbs and spills. She contained multitudes, okay?

Multitudes.

"I think we should--oof!" Had Liliana gotten a faceful of flapping material as she'd attempted to maneuver her way out?

...The narrative will not dignify that allegation with a response, thank you.

[chef_chocobro]

There was a...pause, because inquiring after Liliana's wellbeing in response to such an indignant injury would be acknowledging it irrefutably.

Instead he just used to additional information to fine-tune his own path, and--

"Huh."

He could have sworn that crawling himself into a corner at this point made no logical sense with the layout of the castle in his mind, but, apparently, he was wrong. Carefully, he moved in reverse back the way he came.

"You were saying, love?" he promptoed as he followed a new tact, because a corner surely suggested an edge and an edge logically would eventually contain an entrance...

Surely.

[deathsmajesty]

"That I have had enough," Liliana snapped. "I am leaving right now."

A flare of purple magic and then--

"ABYSS TAKE THIS BLASTED MONSTROSITY!"

Guess who had forgotten (or perhaps just hadn't realized) that this bounce house was made entirely of non-organic materials, most of them of a petroleum derivative...which did not rot.

(Okay, it would if she threw enough magic at it, but that would need to wait until her next turn she'd gathered enough mana.)

[chef_chocobro]

And Ignis, stubborn as ever although feeling a distinct tilt in the scales, winced slightly, but stayed the course on his theory about simply following the edge. Knowing his luck, he'd likely wound up on the corner furthest from freedom.

"Just a few moments, Liliana," he said, careful not to let his own frustration into his voice. "I think I may almost have it. Consider it a bit like quicksand; I fear the more we struggle against it, the more likely it is to trap us even deeper..."

[deathsmajesty]

"We are two incredibly powerful adults," Liliana said, definitely not sulking, really. "I am a Planeswalker from the time when we were gods. Urza's fucking thumbs, how are we being stymied by a collapsing toy for children?"

Well, Ignis had an excuse, he was blind. What was yours, almighty Oldwalker?

"Regardless of whether or not we escape, I am turning this into--ack!" Had Liliana tumbled backwards out of the entrance and onto the ground.

...The narrative will not dignify that allegation with a response either, thank you.

[chef_chocobro]

And Ignis was about to launch into some patient screed about even the most capable beings being stymied by unexpected obstacles, but then there was....well, he didn't quite know how to categorize that ack, so there was an ack and a thump and he tried to discern from what exactly.

"Are you alright," he began to ask, and then his reaching hand landed not on the he was following in the folds of the material, but instead, on a foot.

"Ah," he said, "there you are, darling."

He hoped, anyway!

[deathsmajesty]

Perhaps the fall-that-totally-didn't-happen was actually a good thing! Because Liliana might have responded to that little speech with significant biting. Of the not-fun variety.

"Indeed," she said, each word delivered with a savage bite of their own, but fortunately not turned Ignis' way. "I have found the entrance, it appears."

Ignis, she was going to require so much spoiling. Just like. So much.

[chef_chocobro]

Well, it was a good thing he was starting right away, then, as he followed her voice and the line of the rest of her body to her lips.

"And I," Ignis declared, "have found something even better."

[deathsmajesty]

Ignis. She was flat on her back on the November grass after a night of sleeping in a bouncy castle and a morning of more absolute, dignity-devouring nonsense. Did you really think a kiss was going to make her ignore that?

...Well, okay, but only because it was a really good kiss and because she was absolutely looking for distractions from this ridiculous plight.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him to her. "That, my darling, is a particularly low bar." Another kiss was clearly needed.

[chef_chocobro]

"Especially if we remain here at its level," he noted, and, arms wrapped around hilee as well, pulled them both up out of the grass and their plastic puddle of a potential prison.

After another kiss. Clearly to bolster himself after such an ordeal.

"Now, let's get inside before we both catch ourselves a cold."

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana's skin managed to be even chillier than normal, so his idea was agreed upon with alacrity. She pulled herself up with considerably more grace than she had exited with, and slid her fingers through his. "I am in dire need of breakfast, coffee, and a bath," she informed him. "The odds that I can inveigle you to join me in the tub and let someone else provide the first two?"

[chef_chocobro]

"Much higher," Ignis assured her, with a squeeze of her hard before lifting it to deliver his next kiss against her knuckles, "than that aforementioned bar. I may, however, have..."

Who didn't love a good pause for dramatic effect?

"...conditions."

[deathsmajesty]

"I would be honestly distressed if they were lower," Liliana declared. "What conditions, my darling?"

Oooh, intrigue.

[chef_chocobro]

"First and foremost," Ignis stated, as he loftily laid out his particular demands, "another kiss."

And now that they were inside, he wasted no time in turning Liliana toward him, drawing her in with a kiss that seemed prepared to take all the time in the world.

"And secondly," he said, once it did reach an end and his hand had found her hair, "that someone else provide our dinner as well. I'm afraid this weekend's unexpected youthful extravaganza rather ruined my other plans to whisk you away after the party until your birthday proper, so I intend to remedy that later. And lastly..."

There was another kiss, before he continued, in defiance of the first condition, especially when he highly doubted Liliana would have much to say about someone trying to sneak off with more than what they'd strictly bargained for, but then his expression turned serious.

"....tempting though it may be, under no circumstances are you to destroy and damage thr inflatable castle until I figure out the exact conditions in which it came under our possession."

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana had been smiling and nodding through all of these conditions...until the last one. And then she paused, regarding him with narrowed eyes. "Mmmm..." she hummed, weighing her appetite for destruction (vast) and her morning's frustration (entire) against her desire to have Ignis accompany her into the bath...and also her general disinclination to upset Ignis over trifles.

...It was going to take a minute, okay? There was a lot of math to be done here.

"Fine," she said eventually, with a properly magnanimous air. "But you should be aware you are asking for a very great deal and your desire to make it up to me ought to be commensurate with this sacrifice."

She really wanted to kill it, Ignis.

[chef_chocobro]

And she may still have the chance! Who knew with things around here? It could have very well have been a quirk of thr island. With no paper trail or hint of reimbursement on a deposit, it would be fair game.

(Mostly. He and his sense of smell might take issue with burning it...)

A faint grin tugged the serious expression off his face. "I shall strive to do my consummate best," he promised, the hand in her hair now gentle against Liliana's chin to tilt it for another kiss, and his thumb brushed against her cheek as he added, whispered, "Always."

And, really, his true goal was to attempt to makd her forget about the damn thing entirely, but he did know to temper realistic expectations.

[deathsmajesty]

She was pretty sure she could melt it without burning, Ignis. And besides, if they were leaving the island anyway....

She hooked a finger into the collar of his nightshirt and tugged him in for yet another kiss. Fully performative? Yes. Didn't care.

"This," she murmured, had best be an incredible bath.

Fortunately, she had no doubt of his ability to deliver.